I lost my virginity at church camp!

Well, it was an Episcopal church camp with a lot of horny 16 and 17 year old young men and women running around for two weeks. I'm sure I wasn't the first nor the last... At least I lost it to the first boy/young man I ever loved. Not the puppy love or infatuation when you're that age, but real love. He was, and still is, the most handsome guy I've ever dated/or married for that matter. I mean this was a guy that you would stop on the street and stare at if you passed him. I was a late bloomer so I was coming into my own beauty at that time, so we made such a beautiful couple. His name was Rick.

There was a bridge over a creek that separated the boys campgrounds from the girls campgrounds. Every night we would say goodnight at the bridge - actually, there was a "make-out spot" right at the halfway point. Then the counselors would come out yelling "good night ladies!" and we would make our way to our cabins.

I loved camp and looked forward to it every year. I cried every time I had to go home even though most of us lived either in Dallas or Fort Worth and would see each other throughout the year. There was just something about being there with all of these great friends, having fun, acting silly, staying up past curfew in our cabins laughing and talking.

And those cabins! The girls had it a little better than the boys but not by much. They were old and we had bunk beds, no A/C, just slept with the windows open. Our showers were cold so if you had really long hair like I did, you learned how to shampoo and rinse really quickly. We also had to get up at the crack of dawn each morning to go to morning Mass at this beautiful outdoor chapel. It made getting up early worth it; plus we got to sing stupid "good morning" songs to the guys as they walked past us on the way to the chapel. Only time they ever got to cross that bridge was each morning for chapel. We always looked really nice and they looked like they had just rolled out of bed and threw on wrinkled T-shirts and shorts!

But not Rick - wrinkled T-shirt or not, he always looked gorgeous. I honestly can't remember how it all started with him. All of a sudden, early into the first week, we were an "item." You know those butterflies you get in your stomach when you know you are really attracted to someone - well they were running rampant through mine whenever I was around him. We had our "make-out" sessions each night at the bridge, but it wasn't until the last night of camp that the kissing turned into something more serious.

I remember that we found a place under the bridge to get away from everyone and things just got more intense. The next thing I knew I was making love with him. I remember that it hurt at first - of course it did, I was a virgin - but then it didn't. The funny thing about all of that is that I never felt self conscious with him the next day or afterwards because we loved each other and I knew it.

He lived in Dallas so he was close enough to come see me the rest of the summer. We even got caught one night by the police when we were making out in his car. My dad was on the City Council so I think the police were always looking out for me. I always got caught doing something that I wasn't supposed to do!

Anyway, Rick was a year ahead of me in high school so he had graduated and went off to Sewanee to go to school. He gave me his class ring and I wore it everywhere. We talked on the phone constantly but I was now a senior in high school and attracting a lot of guys who wanted to date me. Rick came home from Sewanee over Thanksgiving, I think, and said he wanted to marry me when I graduated. I was already dating someone by this time - who turned out to be a real idiot - and I was young and stupid...and scared at thinking about marrying someone when I was that young. I broke it off with him and evidently wasn't too nice about it. I broke his heart and that has always made me sad.

I kept his picture - in fact I may still have it buried in old photographs - but when I graduated and went off to Austin, I didn't know how to get in touch with him or what to even say. So...we never spoke again.

We got back in touch through Facebook about a year ago and he, of course, is happily married with kids of his own. In fact one of his sons looks so much like Rick did when he was his age that it is scary. I don't have many regrets - don't believe in them. One is that I gave up ballet when I could have gone on to dance in New York. Yeah...I was that good. Another is that I never got back in touch with Rick. We should have married and had a lot of pretty babies. By then I was older and smarter and realized that he was the sweetest, nicest guy I ever dated. But, when you've hurt someone and they are far away, it's tough to figure out a way to find them and see if they can forgive you and start over. I didn't want him to hate me and I certainly didn't want to see that in his face if I actually found him. I don't think he did and who knows...life might have been very different. But, it is what it is and I'm glad to know that he is happily married with kids of his own.

Of course, I'll always remember him and hold him in a special place in my heart. You do that with your first real love, especially if you lose your virginity to him...and it's hard to forget since it happened at CHURCH CAMP FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!